Love Lost or an Illusion

What's it that weighs down this little heart
Heavy with the trials and tribulations
Set by the world, it believes
Or is it self-imposed, self-inflicted pain?

The heaviness, the weariness,
The loneliness in this crowded place
What's it that gnaws and claws deep wounds
In dark places that don't seem to heal or exist

What's it that knocks and tugs at this heart
Inexplicable, deep feelings
Of love, of loss, of betrayal, of love lost
Or is it all just an illusion?

A Different Kind of Winning

The second edition of Bengaluru Marathon saw a whopping 10,000+ runners. For some it was their debut half or full marathon and for some the number went into double digits. On October 17, 2015, Kanteerava Stadium was brimming with the enthusiasm and camaraderie of all types of runners — young, old, amateurs, and pros. Although some were aiming for a PB (personal best) and some were all out to have fun, the common goal of every runner was to finish strong.

Those were the runners, and I applaud their spirit. But it was the kind gestures all around me that stole the show. The people at the sidelines who were cheering nonstop were the good Samaritans. Every time a distraught, tired runner heard his or her name from the crowd, it brought an inexplicable spark in their eyes. It was beautiful to see how a cheer can act as an energy booster, a push to cross the finish line.

Among the cheerers were a group of runners, individuals who stood out as an epitome of kindness. One of them was Pani sir. Even after being unwell, with constant coughs and sneezes troubling him, he didn't leave a chance to pass on his infectious smile (pun intended :) to a struggling runner. His cheers were a breath of fresh air and electrolyte to everyone who knows him (I doubt if there's anyone in the running community who doesn't know him). I couldn't have been happier to have found him as a coach to start my running journey. Thank you, sir!

If you're a runner or happen to know one too many, you'll agree that it's difficult to keep them away from running. Talk about itchy feet! That holds good for my husband too. He was disappointed that he was not in the race. But the disappointment was short lived, and I saw it fade away completely while he was cheering other runners on race day. And then the itchy feet took over! He started with pacing a friend and ended up helping four or five runners see it through, finish strong, and win their medals. He didn't win a medal in this race, but he sure won their hearts. To quote him "sometimes, winning hearts is more valuable and more precious than winning a medal." True that.

These men are only a few of those I know who have won hearts and touched lives without realizing it. Kudos to all the people who came out early in the morning just to cheer friends and strangers, and made a difference. No podium for them, but this was a different kind of winning.

Do you know anyone like them? Have you made someone happy with a small, simple gesture? Feel free to share your stories in the comments.

Hope in a Shroud of Smoke

We've all heard, read, and seen enough negative stuff about Bangalore, and we get enough reasons to crib. Every day on the way to work and back, we lament upon how much time we have to spend on the road. We complain about the bad roads, narrow roads, traffic jams, noise, pollution, reckless Volvo drivers and cabbies, and so on. But if there's a dark side of the moon, there's a bright side too.

Behind the veil of problems is a city that has so much more to it. So it's no serendipity when I was delighted at the sights, sounds, and smells that my city has to offer. For once, I wasn't complaining, but only enjoying and absorbing the beauty of Bangalore.

It was a usual Sunday morning. My day started early as I had planned to go cycling. I'm not used to cycling on Bangalore roads, so I decided to ride at a leisurely pace behind a group of runners from Team Miles Ahead, a Whitefield-based running group. Soon after I started, I realized I would be doing more than just cycling!

First, I met the newspaper boys, separating different newspapers, and around them were people waiting to grab a copy of their daily dose of news. It made me happy to see that there are people who value newspapers when technology has made it extremely easy to get instant news.

Then I got an olfactory treat, twice. First was while cycling past a temple. The divine fragrance of sandalwood was otherworldly. The second was while crossing a Sagar (one of the many small, standing eateries). The aroma of the piping hot sambar made me realize how hungry I was. So much that I could visualize the cook pouring the sizzling tempering of mustard seeds and curry leaves into the cooked lentils and veggies!

Every now and then I was brought out of my reverie with the sound of running shoes grinding asphalt and sand. There was a rhythm to the footsteps, which was quite pleasing to my ears. The constant crunch-crunch-crunch-crunch was once or twice overpowered by the fancy motorbikes whizzing and zooming past me.

And then there were the chirping birds that added sweet, high-pitched musical notes to the city air. It was nothing less than beautiful.

There was so much energy around with the many runners out so early for their morning run, some training for a personal best at the next marathon and some just for fitness. Most of them smile as they pass by. A simple gesture that reflects mutual respect and understanding can make anyone's day.

Every city has its own set of issues. But Rome wasn't built in a day. And neither can our problems be sorted in a day. A little patience and a little effort from each of us can highlight the beauty of Bangalore that we often ignore.

An Ocean in the Sky

What would it be like if the waves in the ocean were to freeze? And time were to stop? Would we freeze in the moment too? All this might not happen in the real world, but your imagination has the power to take you to the moon and back.

Cruising at an altitude of 36,000 ft, I could see an ocean below me with waves standstill. A hue of orange and purple spreads across the horizon. The grey stripes only added to the splendour of the whole scene.

They say you can catch the most beautiful sunset at a beach. I say you can catch it at its best up there — at 36,000 ft. The setting sun lights up the whole horizon and spreads the beautiful shades of orange on the painting in front of me.

This unadulterated beauty and the sheer thrill of being one with the cumulus clouds makes me love flying. But I don't wish I were a bird. I'm happy taking in the sights and relishing them as a mortal human.

As the earth rotates and I lose the sun to the clouds, I can't help but thank the elements for making me witness this real beauty. The bright orange turns to a tinge and eventually fades away. The setting sun gives me hope that it'll rise again for you and me.

The sun drew a line at the horizon

Not Ready for 10

Those of you have read my experience at Ajmera Life Is Calling Marathon & 10K at NICE road in Bangalore would know that I run, well, on and off. It's been over a year since I started, and I still feel shy to call myself a runner when I see people flying past me. But I'm proud to have started at least.

This post is about my experience at the same course but a different event. The Bengaluru 10K Challenge, on 12 July 2015, saw over 2000 runners from different walks of life. There were the super-fast ones, the moderately fast ones, the slow ones, and then me too. I was surprisingly positive and happy for someone who hadn't run in a long time. So there I was at the start line, full of energy.

The run started quite smoothly on the rolling course, and the first 5K was quite comfortable. Adrenaline was pumping at the right quantity and going to the right synapses. The race was very well-organized, with volunteers every 100M and water stations at every 1K. What more could a runner ask for, right? I was enjoying the run.

And then, suddenly, at the 5K U-turn, my adrenaline supply stopped, or so I believe. Every step after that felt like torture with the sun working overtime. The weather in Bangalore is very pretentious. You would be happy in the morning with the cold breeze and all that, but soon enough it gets so sunny that you can't help but complain. For a moment I couldn't see anything and my legs felt like slabs of concrete. It was just like the time I almost had a baby.

Pushing yourself beyond your limits also makes you have funny conversations with yourself. Your heart and your mind are in constant conflict. My head would say "Why did you have to run when you knew how the course is" and my heart would console me with "Aren't you happy you're trying?" It's a mental game, but what do you do!

All these thoughts and not concentrating on how tough the uphill run was took me till 8K. Then there was this thought that made complete sense. I had not trained at all for this run and there I was at the 10K course. Shouldn't I have done the 5K run instead? Of course, I should have. It's foolish to be overconfident about your body and how much you can take. Training is the key to an injury-free way to fitness. There's no two ways about it.

"Oh wow, I've reached 9.5K. Oh my God, there's a full 500M left. And I struggled like I've never before and crossed the finish line. Someone wise had once said, " The first thing that a person says after crossing the finish line at a marathon says nothing but only the truth." It's so true! When I crossed the finish line, the first thing I said was, "I'm not ready for 10, but I'm ready to begin again."

With the best runner in my family